I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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