Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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