Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my shit smells like andre
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
