My room smells like vodka and shame
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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