I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
