the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
