her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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