im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
