Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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