I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
