Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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