Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am midnight drunk by noon
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
