that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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