i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
