How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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