hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
