At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
