did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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