thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
