my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
