Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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