Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
