So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize