I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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