Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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