i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
