Your tits are I can't wait for
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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