I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The beer is more important than you right now.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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