I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
