I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
