the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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