Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
