When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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