I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
