Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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