and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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