oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My first STD was from a foam party
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
