even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
