This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
