I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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