He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
