What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
