She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
