conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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