roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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