I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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