Nicole vs. Life
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
