I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
