Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
