exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize