Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
